You don’t want your relationship to end because you aren’t living in the same area as someone you love and connect with. Even if you only get to see one another once a month, or even once a year, it is possible to have a happy and healthy relationship with someone. It is possible to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship with someone even if you only see each other sporadically. You need to be able to communicate and make sure you feel connected to your partner, even if you are not physically there.
Kavita Patel is a relationship and life coach. She shared tips with us about long-distance relationships. This included how often you should see each other, how you can feel connected even if you’re not physically together, and how you can communicate when you are apart. She stated that emotional connection and support are essential in long-distance relationships. To maintain intimacy, it is important to stay in touch with your partner and involve them in everyday feelings and situations.
Grab the Phone
It’s vital to keep in touch with long-distance relationships. Patel said that FaceTiming and calling on the phone is the best way for you to keep in touch. Texts can be confusing and so much can get lost. While it can be tempting to rely on text messages and not pick up the phone, don’t do that. Spend time with your loved ones to have deep conversations, where you can hear and see each other’s voices.
Talk in the Morning and At Night
Patel said, “It’s important to check in every morning and at night before you go to bed,” This will make you feel connected at the start and end of each day. This way, even though you may not be physically together, you feel like you are part of each other’s day.
The mornings and nights of a long-distance relationship can be when you feel most alone. This is because you are not normally together. Patel said, “Also a lot can happen to us emotionally within a day so it is important to have those check-ins so that you can feel emotionally supportive.” The strength of a relationship is also shown by having that emotional support.
Regularly Meet in Person
Patel stated, “It is important to see one another as often as possible.” Patel said that it is important to meet in person at a minimum quarterly, depending on how far apart they live. It’s even better if you can arrange to meet up monthly.
Always have an in-person outing planned
It is important to know when you will be seeing each other again in person. Knowing the exact date you’ll see each other again ensures that you have something to look forward to. You can determine how far you need to go before things get difficult.
Visit one another in the places where you live
It can be tempting to take your long-distance partner on exciting, fun trips to meet you. It can also be practical to meet up in the middle of your respective homes. Patel said that it is important to visit each other where they live. She said, “It is important to take trips to visit each other in the places you live so that each person can see how the daily life works for them.”
Talk to each other about your feelings
Patel said, “Show your concern and care and be there for others through it all.” Ask questions such as: How can you support me? What do you most need from me right now? What are you feeling right now? These questions are designed to help the person who feels disconnected reflect on their feelings and thoughts. It shows that the person asking them is caring and helps them to see what’s most important to get back to love and connection.
Make an appointment for an emergency visit
Patel said that if one of your partners feels lonely or disconnected, it is important to arrange a visit to meet one another.
Send gifts to surprise your partner
Patel said that it is important to show your love and thoughtfulness even if you aren’t physically together. She said, “If you are certain that she loves flowers, send flowers to her.” If you suspect that your loved one is suffering from a cold or other illness, you can have food delivered to their home as if you were taking care of them.
Don’t be afraid to have sext
Although sexting (sending explicit texts) may seem like something that only young couples do, it can be a great way for them to spark the flame. Patel said, “Keeping the romance alive is also all about sexting.” You need to choose a time and place that is most convenient for you both to engage in these activities.
Facetime is Romantic!
Patel said that a couple should put aside time for romance even if it’s virtual. “You can FaceTime and get intimate this way. This will keep your attraction alive and you both connected.”
Talk about it if you feel something is off.
Patel said, “If there has been a change in the relationship it is important to ask if you are on the same page and have a hard conversation about whether the time is right to end the relationship.” Ask what has changed and what is the same. She also suggested that you may need to inquire if there are any other people you can talk to if this is something you feel. Trust your gut instincts.
Prioritize each other
It takes work to have long-distance relationships. Both partners need to prioritize each other and put in the effort. Patel said, “It’s not worthwhile anymore when one person stops choosing to be with the other.” It’s important that you talk to anyone who starts to distance themselves, stops making plans, or withdraws. It is vital for both parties to feel that they are being given priority in any way that makes them feel good.
She said, “It’s also very important for each individual in the relationship to be aware of what they need most or what makes them feel good when certain words, experiences, and actions are taken place.” It’s essential to get to know yourself in order to tell your partner what is most important and how to make it work. She said, “You cannot just give all of your happiness to the other person without giving them a map to your heart.”
Take a look at the positives
Patel said that there are many benefits to long-distance relationships. She said, “The best thing about long-distance relationships is that you don’t take one another for granted because they aren’t living in your daily lives.” “Seeing and being with each other can feel fresh and new.” If you’re feeling down, lonely, or frustrated, long-distance relationships offer benefits that aren’t available to couples who live together.
Remember to cherish your moments
It doesn’t matter how you connect, it can be very powerful. FaceTime can be just as meaningful as a dinner date because the person is present and in front of you. No matter how things are going, live in the moment. Patel said, “It’s powerful because it makes you cherish and value each moment more when you are in long-distance relationships.” This is true regardless of whether you’re connecting in person or virtual.